These are the last of my photos from Beirut. My time there was both wounding and healing, both frustrating and hopeful. I’ve already moved on to new worries and concerns, as is often the case. Life moves on. But I feel less disconnected than I have been for years.
Scenes from Bourj Hammoud on 35mm, featuring “Panos,” the spot my dad would grab a Rum Baba while waiting for mom to get ready to go out when they were dating. Strange alignments between Beirut and Deir el-Qamar that I only noticed once I got my scans back. Here are some vibey shots by the Mediterranean if the mood is off for you today like it is for me.
This is the first time I’ve seen x-ray damage on my film; I stopped fussing about it when travelling when I was forced to run some rolls through it by the rude security in Montreal and saw nothing, but I guess ISO 800 is too sensitive. You can tell this roll didn’t even like being in my rickety Nikon FE since the light leaks that sometimes show up in shots are way more prominent here.
It creates a cool effect, but I’m going to get this camera serviced sometime soon; the very last shot happened when the shutter made a strange whirring sound and misfired after I’d taken the camera away from my face in confusion. I’ve fallen in love with this old clunker and would hate for its condition to get worse.
The symbolism of this chair is more evident when you consider that political positions are often called “seats” in Arabic.
I took this photo three different times after realizing that I’d forgotten to reset the ISO when I loaded this film and would probably lose it as the first of the roll anyway, then continued to struggle with exposure as the sun began to rapidly set. So, I switched to digital for the rest of our time here.
This is Our Lady of Awaiting.
How long, O Lord, how long?
The damage this roll sustained captures the energy here much better than my digital photography.
The energy of war.
The energy of injustice.
Buzzing like locusts in the air.
A sign here read: “I’m waiting for my children.”
How long, O Lord?
How long?
I can’t stand toxic positivity, especially among the faithful. Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord, but that’s not all he sayeth.
‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay.’
That’s the line in full.
“To me belongeth vengeance and recompense; their foot shall slide in due time; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” (Deuteronomy 32:35)
And what does Saint Paul say?
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God.” (Romans 12:19)
The wrath of God – as flood, as consequence, as revolution. Our better angels are to leave room for that.