#Route101: Another New Year

As we recover from the motion blur of our epic #Route101 road trip, much of the past year is coming into focus for me in the rearview mirror. I spent much of 2022 and a good chunk of 2021 thinking and writing about meaning—discerning it, making it, communicating it. I tried every personality test and even got into tarot. I turned inward, coiling up tighter and tighter until I got sick of that spiritual exhibitionism and the leering that comes with it. I wanted out and I found an unexpected exit in photography, an ecstatic eye to thread new lines through. But … Continue reading “#Route101: Another New Year”

ADVENTWORD 2022—PURIFY

Today’s #AdventWord is not one I’d have picked myself; there’s almost no choice but to read a word like PURIFY in, well, puritanical terms, and, if you’re anything like me, maybe even a James Hetfield twang: TRUTH AND DAREPEELING BACK THE SKINACID WASH GHOST WHITEULTRA CLEANWANNA BE SKELETON Metallica’s “Purify” perfectly captures the unrelenting reductionism of how we tend to hear & deploy the concept of “purity”: a sweet turpentine to burn off all excess & filth. PURIFY OUR CONSCIENCE! cries this Sunday’s collect: “Purify our conscience, Almighty God, by your daily visitation, that your Son Jesus Christ, at his coming, may … Continue reading “ADVENTWORD 2022—PURIFY”

Allow Yourself to Soften

“Allowyourselfto soften.” (@blackhausart) Last night, I ran two blocks to take this photo; it must have happened around the same time that Annie sent me those words. Tonight, I read other words and think about this softening and the kin we don’t know nor expect to have. And now I light a blend of incense called “the moon” that I’d picked out this morning. x Assorted November scenes from around #Bellingham this Thanksgiving weekend. x x This is my fourth time here, my third time staying the night. I really like this town.x x I’d like to followyou aroundfor a while x

A Fire is Lit: Concert Photography

This was my first time attempting to take anything more than smartphone snaps at a concert, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Bar House wasn’t what I expected. It’s a great space but a little difficult to navigate with a chunky camera. I found it almost impossible to capture the frenetic energy from my cramped vantage point, so I’d assumed that most of my shots would have to be scrubbed off my SD card at the end of the night. But when I scrolled through them later, sitting by Fremont’s Lenin statue, I realized that much … Continue reading “A Fire is Lit: Concert Photography”

Blackletter October

[Chorus] I feel them all, great mass of colorFlooded in my bedI feel them all, great mass of colorFlooded in my bed, dissolving into red. [Post-Chorus] (Can I accept I’m real?) x Quid tandem?Privatae res vestraequo statu sunt? x Quid quiden ignis Deust est. x Ager uritururbs obsideturbelli gloria peneshostes est. x Beati qui lavant vestimentasua in sanguine Agniut sit potestas eorum in ligno vitae,et per portas ingrediantur civitatem. x Sed fugit intereafugit inreparabile tempus. Fiat. x Have fun tonight. x Assorted October scenes on expired black and white #kodakadvantix.x x x x x x

What is it?

Brown, blue, violet sky—it’s funny how tiktok trends rehash and recycle artifacts that don’t quite feel very retro, though, they must be, alas. The world doesn’t really accelerate; we just get older a lot faster every day. And so, when that kinda thing is annoying, it’s really annoying, but when it’s not, it can be prophetic, like a planetary return, or a shift in the seasons, or a long-gone friendship reborn. I used to repeat that old lyric by that half-Lebanese crooner, who, at one point, provided folks with a global reference point, like tabbouli or hummus, to place me … Continue reading “What is it?”

The Riot is the Light of the Unseen

“To be yourselfis all that you can do(all that you can do)To be yourselfis all that you can do(all that you can do)” How many of us play amateur detective in some psychodrama when we look back at lives that ended in tragedy? We go over the liner notes and find all the right clues—maybe they were always there. Or maybe the pressure to entertain a certain way was actually whodunnit. It’s hard to put the magnifying glass down; cold cases are kept warm by kinship. A song like “Be Yourself” will do that to you. What at first blush … Continue reading “The Riot is the Light of the Unseen”

Radio Dis/loc/ution

x “Zayin is masculine—ZACHAR. And there belongs to this man a beard—ZAKAN. And this man is old—ZAKAYN. And this man can look back through time—Z’MAN, and he remembers—ZACHAER, everything.” MMXX is a Spotify playlist I made in/for #TwentyTwenty and @rbinbetween. x “Only he who is beaten—KATEET, like oil which has been beaten from olives, until he is—KASHER, pure and fit, shall drink. Then Kaf turns itself into a crown.” AMALGAMA is a Spotify playlist I made during eclipse season. x “There is another kind of Resh. This is the end of pretending. ROSH HASHANA, the day of admitting. Master of the universe! RIBONO … Continue reading “Radio Dis/loc/ution”

“these ghosts, those ghosts, our ghosts”

The second volume of @thedepressedwaitress arrived in my mailbox alongside Easter blessings from the Servants of Mary, a religious order somewhere in Illinois; they’ve been sending me seasonal greetings ever since I asked for their prayers & relic fragments in a wild attempt at doing something, anything—come on, feel the Illinoise—in the totalizing face of medical certainty. I didn’t start reading this volume until today, the same day I learned about Donna Haraway’s shared Eucharistic devotion & spiritual kinship with Bruno Latour in an endnote to an essay about spiders and tentacles and corvids and lichen, the same day I took the … Continue reading ““these ghosts, those ghosts, our ghosts””

Shot A + Shot B

“The only way to understand storiessuch as that of the Annunciationis to repeat them, that is, to utter againa Word which producesinto the listener the same effect… I am hailing tonight, with the same gift,the same present of renewed presence. Tonight, I am your Gabriel!” (Bruno Latour) x Do you remember how, in Fight Club, one of the backstories we’re given for “Tyler Durden” is that of a movie theatre projectionist? How he would splice subliminal frames of lewd imagery into family films to mess with normies’ sense of reality, and how the film itself had frames of Tyler’s face … Continue reading “Shot A + Shot B”