Mother’s Day

“Je ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pas.” We’ve all seen the posts about words that can’t be translated into English that inevitably include “saudade” in the list – saudade, that Portuguese feeling of “profound nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.” This longing is “often associated with a repressed understanding that one might never encounter the recipient of longing ever again.” But what’s a word for the melancholy that comes with irrepressible presence? Does anyone else ever feel … Continue reading “Mother’s Day”

Green Lent, Red Pisces

It’s funny “haha” and funny “hmm” to me how often I’ve swung between dogged determination and complete surrender. I am the original member of @baumwerkj’s Order of the Dung Beetle before it had a name, back when @heure_bleue__ initiated me as such. I am also constantly broken open and made a vessel of things I did not choose but became available for. Pisces season seems to come around every year to mark some new striving after a vision; sometimes it turns out to be a mirage, other times it is transfigured into a brighter image of the truth. I used to be embarrassed … Continue reading “Green Lent, Red Pisces”

Sound Concepts

“Silence is such a great concept. There is no silence, unless in a vacuum; it’s that great mystic world which cannot exist in our world. Also, in music, the time between the musical events is as important as the event itself.” (Robert Henke) x FOR ANY INSTRUMENT OR COMBINATION OF INSTRUMENTS I TACET II TACET III TACET x “A good drone is highly complex under the surface. It is like a view over a city, which can be perceived as just a grey mass of buildings or as a very complex set of small parts where each part is complex … Continue reading “Sound Concepts”

#Route101: San Francisco / Jenin

The air feels heavy with many things today, so I thought I’d share this, from Clarion Alley, as a reminder of sorts, or maybe just a laugh, if you’re in that mood, instead. x San Francisco himself at the Mission Dolores Basilica, right next to the original Misión San Francisco de Asís. The Basilica and a nearby park get their name from the “Arroyo de Nuestra Señora de los Dolores,” or Our Lady of Sorrows Creek. x x x x I haven’t posted anything political in a very long time, and the awful thing is that I’m moved to post … Continue reading “#Route101: San Francisco / Jenin”

Old New Year

Today is #OldNewYear‘s Eve & #FridayThe13th, so it makes *perfect sense* to get my scans back from the lab this afternoon and post my NYE photos right now, right? Καλη Χρονια Να Εχουμε! x I had a weird day today in a first it was spooky, then it was cute kinda way. Spooky and cute and random like these shots from our NYE in Portland. x A couple more from our unorthodox New Year’s Eve on this Orthodox New Year’s Eve, featuring @xibling and a few random scanner misfires. Щасливого Нового року! x

#Route101: Another New Year

As we recover from the motion blur of our epic #Route101 road trip, much of the past year is coming into focus for me in the rearview mirror. I spent much of 2022 and a good chunk of 2021 thinking and writing about meaning—discerning it, making it, communicating it. I tried every personality test and even got into tarot. I turned inward, coiling up tighter and tighter until I got sick of that spiritual exhibitionism and the leering that comes with it. I wanted out and I found an unexpected exit in photography, an ecstatic eye to thread new lines through. But … Continue reading “#Route101: Another New Year”


Today’s #AdventWord is not one I’d have picked myself; there’s almost no choice but to read a word like PURIFY in, well, puritanical terms, and, if you’re anything like me, maybe even a James Hetfield twang: TRUTH AND DAREPEELING BACK THE SKINACID WASH GHOST WHITEULTRA CLEANWANNA BE SKELETON Metallica’s “Purify” perfectly captures the unrelenting reductionism of how we tend to hear & deploy the concept of “purity”: a sweet turpentine to burn off all excess & filth. PURIFY OUR CONSCIENCE! cries this Sunday’s collect: “Purify our conscience, Almighty God, by your daily visitation, that your Son Jesus Christ, at his coming, may … Continue reading “ADVENTWORD 2022—PURIFY”

Allow Yourself to Soften

“Allowyourselfto soften.” (@blackhausart) Last night, I ran two blocks to take this photo; it must have happened around the same time that Annie sent me those words. Tonight, I read other words and think about this softening and the kin we don’t know nor expect to have. And now I light a blend of incense called “the moon” that I’d picked out this morning. x Assorted November scenes from around #Bellingham this Thanksgiving weekend. x x This is my fourth time here, my third time staying the night. I really like this town.x x I’d like to followyou aroundfor a while x

A Fire is Lit: Concert Photography

This was my first time attempting to take anything more than smartphone snaps at a concert, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Bar House wasn’t what I expected. It’s a great space but a little difficult to navigate with a chunky camera. I found it almost impossible to capture the frenetic energy from my cramped vantage point, so I’d assumed that most of my shots would have to be scrubbed off my SD card at the end of the night. But when I scrolled through them later, sitting by Fremont’s Lenin statue, I realized that much … Continue reading “A Fire is Lit: Concert Photography”

Blackletter October

[Chorus] I feel them all, great mass of colorFlooded in my bedI feel them all, great mass of colorFlooded in my bed, dissolving into red. [Post-Chorus] (Can I accept I’m real?) x Quid tandem?Privatae res vestraequo statu sunt? x Quid quiden ignis Deust est. x Ager uritururbs obsideturbelli gloria peneshostes est. x Beati qui lavant vestimentasua in sanguine Agniut sit potestas eorum in ligno vitae,et per portas ingrediantur civitatem. x Sed fugit intereafugit inreparabile tempus. Fiat. x Have fun tonight. x Assorted October scenes on expired black and white #kodakadvantix.x x x x x x