Tag: love

by jad

My Heart Sees It

Someone asked me if my dad’s roll of Kodak Advantix film had been used, and I was certain it hadn’t, so imagine my heartache seeing these frames come back from the lab. This is my baby sister when she was still a baby sister. That’s the balcony at our old place; the same balcony she took her work calls on when we hung out at the same place when I was back there in January. It looks different now. So do we. I didn’t expect to see these photos so quickly. I didn’t expect to feel the way I do … Continue reading “My Heart Sees It” →

by jad

I Grieve The Son

This photo is mostly generative AI. I found a tiny thumbnail of a time before core memory, a mere 960 x 899 pixels and 336 kilobytes of perhaps the most important document in our possession, and ran it through Photoshop’s “generative extend” tool, because I barely recognized it. It was already uncanny. There’s my mother and father, but who is that child? I asked mom and she, with a slight hint of urgency, solved the mystery: “Habibiii it’s youu.” It just didn’t look real. Even the kid looks mildly suspicious. So, I ran the generative fill again and again until … Continue reading “I Grieve The Son” →

by jad

R.I.P. Dad

At last, you are together again. Rest well, dad. Your pain has ceased. “IMAGINE A POSTCARD FROM BEIRUT”a post card by @natasa_bergk,scanned on a Konica Minolta 2100. What do you imagine? I see hospital beds. I see the slow murder of hopes and dreams. Imagine a postcard from Beirut. A picture-perfect vista so chockablock with injustice that it’s a solid mass. Just a solid wall with no cartoon tunnel painted on. Just blank and impenetrable. We can’t see the vista anymore. What do you see? Tomorrow’s Veterans Day, an awkward day for an immigrant and an Arab too, ajallak. It … Continue reading “R.I.P. Dad” →

by jad

So Much Love in Me

I heard a live recording of Depeche Mode’s So Much Love for the first time today that amplifies the level of menace to the lyrics that’s in the original version, though much less viscerally and in your face: I can’t runI have triedThere’s a thornIn my sideThere is somethingI can’t hide There is so much love in me. Dave’s voice sounds angry against the mechanical rum-pum-pum beat that’s a lot more spartan and martial than the original mix, giving the whole a charged air of protest. There is something so resonant in this for me. I have said this a … Continue reading “So Much Love in Me” →

by jad

Muse

“The word muse comes to mind.” That’s what a friend said in response to this video when I shared it in my stories, which sparked a conversation about the muse—her supposed passivity and historical exploitation. “Being called a muse is high praise, but a beautiful object can be a muse too.” But a partner participates in the work—“the work,” which is in itself merely active collaboration with everything around us. Nothing to extract. Nothing to contain. Everything to gain.

by jad

World Photography Day 2023

Today is #WorldPhotographyDay and it trips me right out to look back on how far I’ve come with whatever this is since last year, when I wasn’t sure why people kept giving me cameras or what the hell I was supposed to do with them. I took photos, of course, but I wasn’t sure if it was “photography” — and I knew I wasn’t a photographer, that’s for damn sure. But I’m not as sure anymore. x Someone who gave me the best compliment I could have ever received* about this silly little hobby of mine posted something the other day about … Continue reading “World Photography Day 2023” →

by jad

#Route101: Klamath / Coos Bay

This little Paul Bunyan-themed #Route101 attraction is a perfect apéritif to this vast stretch of Redwood Highway wilderness, especially if you’ve never seen or touched a Redwood before, like me. I’m not a fan of heights either, but the skyways were absolutely breathtaking in the best kind of way with just the right amount of “adventuring” for my tastes. I don’t want to come across as California-woo but just being around and breathing in these giants felt soothing to the soul. x  Our New Year’s Eve morning actually started here, and it actually started a little rocky too. We’d pushed ourselves quite … Continue reading “#Route101: Klamath / Coos Bay” →

by jad

#Route101: Reedsport / North Bend / Mapleton

We stopped here on our way to Portland on December 30, purely to take that photo in the last slide, but ended up leaving with some mini cakes and a big ol’ jar of blackberry High Country Honey from Lakeside, OR. It was a little sad to see all these shuttered and vacant stores lining both sides of main street, sandwiched between hokey MAGA wood art and a cute little “bakery & coffee shop” that didn’t sell coffee. It felt like a poetic aperçu of this place. x This was where we spent most of the morning of New Year’s … Continue reading “#Route101: Reedsport / North Bend / Mapleton” →

by jad

Sickly Sweet Seven

We interrupt this regular broadcast to bring you a memory—this is #Istanbul, August 2015, a couple of days before we took a leap and made our first truly adult decision of our lives. x In October, it’ll be 11 years since you first walked into the room and set your scopes on me, saying “hi, what’s your name?” Today, it’s 7 years since we made it official and we’re still full speed ahead. Ahoy, Christine! ❤️🫠 x We liked it so much we did it again the next year, in #Paphos—here it is in October 2016. Slide 2 is the weird but meaningful … Continue reading “Sickly Sweet Seven” →

by jad

Trip Like I Do—Priest Lake, June 29-July 2

The object of our trip was Priest Lake in northern Idaho; it was our destination and where we spent most of our time. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this part of the journey. In fact, Christine reminds me that my very first reaction to a proposed gathering of sisters at this traditional family summering spot was precisely this: “I am inclined to say no.” Part of my hesitation is due to my relatively urbanized comportment: I am very much the product of my time, preferring the contemplation of natural beauty over my immersion in it. As the author of … Continue reading “Trip Like I Do—Priest Lake, June 29-July 2” →