Author: jad

by jad

Humility

humility humility humilityhumility humility humilityhumility humility humility (an entry from Yves Klein’s diary) I thought you might like to see more from my “60 megapixel” bargain bin buy off of AliExpress. Every once in a while, it does something right. Still mostly misses though. I’m realizing that I’ve really outgrown the drive towards correctness at all times; I find myself less and less interested in thinkers and movements that figured it out, and more and more curious about failures and fuck ups who didn’t. Or, more accurately, people who don’t think they know it all but might be on to … Continue reading “Humility” →

by jad

Easter Day

“After August 1945, the USA launching two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, we became aware that we can self-annihilate. That risk has increased with the arms race, including nine nations, with chemical and biological weapons and some 16,000 nuclear warheads. The current war between Russia and Ukraine made Putin threaten the use of nuclear weapons, bringing the apocalyptic fear of the end of the human species. In this scenario, how to celebrate the greatest feast of Christendom which is Easter, the resurrection of the Crucified, Jesus of Nazareth? Resurrection must not be understood as the reanimation of a dead … Continue reading “Easter Day” →

by jad

This is Tariffcore

You might have heard of recession pop, but do you fw tariffcore? In the spirit of the times, I recently “splurged” on the cheapest Chinese tech for the absolute lowest price I could find for the biggest hype. This is supposed to be “4K” and “60 megapixels”—i.e. more than my most expensive photography purchase to date, my Fujifilm XT4—which is a claim so hilariously audacious, you have to love it. Chairman Mao would be so proud. President Trump would call it genius. This is legitimately the worst camera I’ve ever seen. It’s even worse than my PowerShot from 2007. You … Continue reading “This is Tariffcore” →

by jad

It is Absolutely Refreshing to be Militantly Cringe

What if you spent less time worrying about which of the things you like is cringe and just liked those things more intensely instead? I’ve always liked cautionary tales like House of Leaves because they reminded me of me and the need to check my obsessions, but as all true believers will tell you, there’s something religious about excessive devotion. We started talking about that because I’d just come out from giving a talk where I’d mentioned my feeling of kinship with James Acord, the artist born in the year of “Hiroshima” (just like I was born in the year … Continue reading “It is Absolutely Refreshing to be Militantly Cringe” →

by jad

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

We’re not supposed to talk about asteroids in spooky quadrants of the sky as hardcore materialists and dialecticians, but the mind likes to color outside the lines. I read something the other day that made me think about my need for ordering chaos and how that connects to my nurturing side. The suggestion there was love and care tends to be expressed practically, through communication and intellectual engagement; that, for this personality type, devotion comes from attention to detail and makes one primed for a vocation in education, social work, or even healthcare. But what drew my eye was the … Continue reading “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” →

by jad

Fragile Frames

The tension between slowing down and keeping up the fight; between becoming useful and being left the hell alone; between caring less and caring so much more. That’s what how this feels. Like springtime in Seattle: the tension between two fronts. There’s a season for all things; a time for expansion and a time for contraction; a time for exploration and a time to make up your mind; a time to think and a time to act. That’s how this feels. Like an inflection point. A nonlinear timeline in the upper-left corner. “Do you feel fragmented?” A friend asked me … Continue reading “Fragile Frames” →

by jad

Where the People Are

I took part in today’s “Hands Off” National Day of Action in the Seattle Center, and I have to say, it wasn’t until I got closer to the rally site that I realized how big of a thing it was going to be. A friend earlier that morning told me everyone on the bus she’d taken was heading in that direction, and trying to find another friend later that afternoon proved to be a little difficult, given the signal jamming with the sheer amount of people there. The bus we took getting back was standing room only. All I’m saying … Continue reading “Where the People Are” →

by jad

Konica C35 AF2

This Konica is one of the earliest cameras with autofocus technology, which means that it sometimes makes the strangest decisions. I think the system uses contrast between light and shadow to figure out where to focus, so I’m pretty sure I pushed its limits with the lighting conditions (it was also raining at some points) — all in all, it was mostly reliable. It feels like this could make for a great travel camera, because it’s a rare point and shooter with manual winding. I’ll have to run another roll through it soon to be sure. I went through this … Continue reading “Konica C35 AF2” →

by jad

My Heart Sees It

Someone asked me if my dad’s roll of Kodak Advantix film had been used, and I was certain it hadn’t, so imagine my heartache seeing these frames come back from the lab. This is my baby sister when she was still a baby sister. That’s the balcony at our old place; the same balcony she took her work calls on when we hung out at the same place when I was back there in January. It looks different now. So do we. I didn’t expect to see these photos so quickly. I didn’t expect to feel the way I do … Continue reading “My Heart Sees It” →

by jad

The Windmills of my Mind

My sister found and sent me a picture of a single-serving carton of the chocolate milk we both grew up on and it looked exactly the same. This set me off into a slow moving spiral of sappy nostalgia, like a wheel within a wheel, you might say, a mood that I was already in this morning, having just finished a roll of film that was in my dad’s Kodak Advantix camera—a roll he’d loaded some decades ago but never used. So now I’m sharing these random moments I’ve collected around town; quiet moments in the noise. I found my … Continue reading “The Windmills of my Mind” →