There is No Lifeguard on Duty

“The unconscious comes before the conscious. The logic of the historic process comes before the subjective logic of the human beings who participate in the historic process.” (Rosa Luxemburg) The small sign nestled in the “FREE PALESTINE” graffiti says “no lifeguard on duty,” which, I think, is evocative of an amorphous mood many of us are feeling today; the world is spinning off its axis with decades compressed into mere weeks in true ‘Lenin Lives!’ form (these being the final days of V.I.’s centennial), and a lot of us are feeling seasick. What are we to make of it all? … Continue reading “There is No Lifeguard on Duty” →

This Advent

Christmas is next week and soon it will be Epiphany, and then I’ll be boarding a flight I’ve been anticipating for a long time. I can’t believe it’s almost here. A few days after the news first broke, a coworker who’d experienced similar heartbreak and had been there for me in the long, liminal months of waiting, walked into my office with a silent, sad smile on her face; I smiled back and said: “The hour has finally come, huh?” She said: “Yeah…” Well, the hour has been striking ever since, and I’m still here in this liminal time — … Continue reading “This Advent” →

R.I.P. Velvet Q

I went to a funeral on Friday the 13th. It was the official end of Velvet Q, a local band we’ve loved and seen so many times over the years; this is Mallory writing the final set lists. I have two of those from concerts past. I didn’t take one of these. “While there are people still to miss me—I’m trying to die / I’m trying to say goodbye.” How much grieving is too much grieving? When are you allowed to become angry again? How does that song go again? Ah, yes. “I am a rock-bottom riser. And I owe … Continue reading “R.I.P. Velvet Q” →

Hold The Tension

“Remember that a dialogue presupposes two sides. All too often comrades lecture people, not letting them get a word in edgewise. We must learn how to listen [emphasis in original] to people. Ask questions and get a sense of their political thinking.” We must learn how to listen. On one hand, it’s extraordinary that this needs to be said; on the other, thank God that and when it’s made explicit. All politics is learnt. All politics is also unlearnt. We are constantly relearning the give and take between the two. I’ve been engaging with a couple of points of political … Continue reading “Hold The Tension” →

32 Days

I didn’t want to mark a month, busying myself with the various “protagonisms” of the day, broadly understood. But now, 2 days later, the feelings are catching up with me. I’m thinking about all the arguing we’d be doing after the apparent “shattering” of the axis; he’d be telling me not to fall for the propaganda and I’d be insisting that he’s missing my point. I hear his voice in every cringe opinion I listen to among my new-found comrades so wrapped up in their “position in the imperial core” that they forget what it actually means to be “internationalist.” … Continue reading “32 Days” →

If We Deny Our Happiness

Today’s #AdventWord is “joy” because this coming Sunday’s traditionally called “Gaudete Sunday,” from the Latin word for “rejoice.” Gaudete, gaudete!Christus est natusEx Maria virgine,gaudete! This got me thinking about the ambiguities of celebration in the midst of suffering, and how even Bethlehem couldn’t bring itself to celebrate Christmas last year, out of respect for Gaza. Even my mother wondered if I’d find decorations hurtful coming home after five Christmases away; I said no. In fact, I was looking forward to seeing them again. I found a poem called ‘A Brief for the Defense’ by Jack Gilbert while thinking about joy … Continue reading “If We Deny Our Happiness” →

Tonight’s the Night

“Decades where nothing happens and weeks where decades happen kind of feeling…” Completely. In a handful of words, a friend in Seattle sums up the whirlwind I’ve been caught in since Saturday, when I woke up to messages from a friend in Damascus asking me if I’m seeing the news. “Tonight’s the night ya Jad.” I took the first photo just after a gathering with a motley crew of democratic socialists where we argued about Syria among other things, and by the time I took the third photo sometime later, Damascus was surrounded. Once again, my friend and comrade in … Continue reading “Tonight’s the Night” →

Black Friday in Bellingham (Again)

When we drove up to Canada last year, we didn’t stop to linger at the border; with nothing special planned for the long weekend beyond some R&R in Bellingham, I jumped on the opportunity to come up here after connecting over a film swap with @night_bydesign. I took about 20 frames here with @christine.bingham.art, and finished the rest in Bellingham. Bellingham is where I did my half of my first (and last) swap with @____liturgy__ for #AdventWord a while back, so it felt like a full circle moment too. Don’t ask me what it all means though. x This is … Continue reading “Black Friday in Bellingham (Again)” →

Advent I

Today is the first Sunday of Advent, the start of a season that’s become a bit of a barometer of my mood every year. There have been years when I was energized and engaged, turning the weeks before Christmas into an art project or two, often using the prompts made by @adventword. And there are other years when I felt the exact opposite: drained, dejected, and disengaged. This year feels different in a new way. I’m somewhere in between. I’m busier than ever before, but I don’t want the same old rituals. Or maybe I want to engage with them … Continue reading “Advent I” →

Tell Me Something

I asked ChatGPT to give me a random quote based on the first thing that pops in its AI head, and it said: “Even the smallest spark can light a path through the darkest forest.” So, I asked it why it thought of that, and it replied: “It popped into my “mind” as a metaphor for hope and determination. I think I associated it with the idea of perseverance in challenging situations—a theme that resonates in many contexts, from personal struggles to movements like those you’ve shown interest in, such as historical protests or efforts for change. Perhaps it’s my … Continue reading “Tell Me Something” →