by jad

Konica C35 AF2

This Konica is one of the earliest cameras with autofocus technology, which means that it sometimes makes the strangest decisions. I think the system uses contrast between light and shadow to figure out where to focus, so I’m pretty sure I pushed its limits with the lighting conditions (it was also raining at some points) — all in all, it was mostly reliable. It feels like this could make for a great travel camera, because it’s a rare point and shooter with manual winding. I’ll have to run another roll through it soon to be sure. I went through this … Continue reading “Konica C35 AF2” →

by jad

My Heart Sees It

Someone asked me if my dad’s roll of Kodak Advantix film had been used, and I was certain it hadn’t, so imagine my heartache seeing these frames come back from the lab. This is my baby sister when she was still a baby sister. That’s the balcony at our old place; the same balcony she took her work calls on when we hung out at the same place when I was back there in January. It looks different now. So do we. I didn’t expect to see these photos so quickly. I didn’t expect to feel the way I do … Continue reading “My Heart Sees It” →

by jad

The Windmills of my Mind

My sister found and sent me a picture of a single-serving carton of the chocolate milk we both grew up on and it looked exactly the same. This set me off into a slow moving spiral of sappy nostalgia, like a wheel within a wheel, you might say, a mood that I was already in this morning, having just finished a roll of film that was in my dad’s Kodak Advantix camera—a roll he’d loaded some decades ago but never used. So now I’m sharing these random moments I’ve collected around town; quiet moments in the noise. I found my … Continue reading “The Windmills of my Mind” →

by jad

St. Patrick’s Day

I’ve marked a St. Patrick’s Day ritual of some shape or form for 16 years, and this is how we mark it in Seattle. “It’s just another Monday, right?” That’s how the guy at Market House Meats laughed off how busy it was when I was straining to hear my name being called out. The scene today was straight out of a movie, complete with a couple of New Yorkers trying to figure out how to order in that loud New Yorker way. There was a padre there and a cadre of cops too; a construction worker and a plumber, … Continue reading “St. Patrick’s Day” →

by jad

The Really-Real

Another cultural anxiety that Apple’s ‘Severance’ cashes in on is the impermanence of self; are we who we think we are? Will we always be that way? What makes me “me”, anyhow? Is an “innie” a real person or are they merely the really-real person out there ‘under the influence’? Which experience gets to have agency? Which actor is ultimately accountable? In the background of all these questions is the fundamental paradox of individuality: inviolable and sacrosanct, yet conditioned, if not determined. “Individual” literally means that which cannot be divided, and yet, we all know that our human experience contains … Continue reading “The Really-Real” →

by jad

Commitments and Crossings

I decided to throw myself into the fray and deepen my intellectual commitments by actually getting off my ass and doing the work around the same time that many of us felt that same pang in our hearts. That’s when we realized that now is the time for commitments—maybe even extremes. And how that’s playing out looks differently across this city, but a whirlwind has been kicked up, for sure. These are three separate but interconnected rallies that happened on the same day, #IWD2025, representing the broad and messy “fight back” that many of us are participating in. I stood … Continue reading “Commitments and Crossings” →

by jad

The Severance Metaphor

I don’t watch many television series for one of the reasons that make Apple’s ‘Severance’ so resonant with a lot of us; hidden somewhere deep within its serpentine plot is a secret truth we’ve known for a long time—knowing less, feeling less, experiencing less is a great comfort. This truth is heretical to the thrill-seeking extroverts among us, but I suspect that, deep down, they too feel this way; their fear of missing out or need to measure up just happens to drown it out, and so, the comfort of disconnection finds them cold and confused in the dark night … Continue reading “The Severance Metaphor” →

by jad

The Party of Overthrow

“How long, O Lord, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?” That’s Engels quoting the souls of the martyrs slain for the word of God who cry out with a loud voice saying: “How long, O Lord?” And this is what Engels hears in the response they’re given; to rest for a little while yet, for more martyrs must be slain: “So here it is not yet a question of a ‘religion of love,’ of ‘love your enemies, bless them that curse you, etc.’ Here undiluted revenge is preached, sound, honest revenge … Continue reading “The Party of Overthrow” →

by jad

How Long, O Lord

These are the last of my photos from Beirut. My time there was both wounding and healing, both frustrating and hopeful. I’ve already moved on to new worries and concerns, as is often the case. Life moves on. But I feel less disconnected than I have been for years. Scenes from Bourj Hammoud on 35mm, featuring “Panos,” the spot my dad would grab a Rum Baba while waiting for mom to get ready to go out when they were dating. Strange alignments between Beirut and Deir el-Qamar that I only noticed once I got my scans back. Here are some … Continue reading “How Long, O Lord” →

by jad

Middle Finger to the City

The concrete structure sandwiched between the first and last slides in this series is the Interdesign building designed by Khalil Khouri in 1973. As ArchDaily puts it, “the building took 23 years to build, a process halted by the onset of the Lebanese Civil War. By the time it was completed in 1996, the urban landscape that surrounded it had changed. The structure has stood largely unused since, as a relic of hopeful modernity. While its design is singular in its narrative and expression, this structure illustrates the tension between aspiration and struggle throughout its complex history.” I first learned … Continue reading “Middle Finger to the City” →