Tag: lebanon

by jad

Asteroid City

“But you can’t wake up if you don’t fall asleep So go live your dreams and live them real deep. There is some countin’ money and there’s some countin’ sheep. Oh, you can’t wake up if you don’t fall asleep – If you don’t fall asleep.” (Jarvis Cocker) I watched ‘Asteroid City’ on the ten-hour flight to Frankfurt coming here, and I don’t think I was fully awake to fully grasp it, but I think it’s a movie about grief and purpose and the stories we let ourselves to find purpose in grief, or grief in purpose, etc. “Asteroid City … Continue reading “Asteroid City” →

by jad

Welcome to Lebanon

After something like five and a half years and twenty-four hours of travel, I’m back. My luggage isn’t though, so here’s a liminal space for this liminal time as we wait to hear about the fate of half the aircraft’s baggage that also didn’t make it. “We had more solidarity with random strangers in one hour than on most days in Canada,”” said a young traveler to their mother, with admirable optimism. “Welcome to Lebanon,” their mother had told us while we scrambled to figure out what was going on. We laughed and said: “We’re going to hear that a … Continue reading “Welcome to Lebanon” →

by jad

Father of my Father

I woke up to a surprise this morning; my dad had sent me a photo his brother had sent him after their other brother had shown him an old family album that none of us had ever seen. In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever seen my grandfather. It’s fitting and bittersweet to see his face and my dad’s chubby smile today. I’m heading back home for the first time in five years tomorrow—the first time since I arrived here, and the first time since becoming American. It’s fitting and bittersweet because my heritage is as complicated as … Continue reading “Father of my Father” →

by jad

Rituals & Liturgies, Fathers & Sons

The last time I was in this venue seeing this band was also the first time I started imagining myself taking photos in spaces like these. That’s the night I met Dom and Ellie and asked about their cameras; I even spoke to veterans like John whom I’ve seen at nearly every gig I’ve been to since, arm raised, Canon blazing. Michael and I reminisced about that last night; it hasn’t even been a whole year, but it feels a lot longer. In that time, I’ve enjoyed figuring out something like a style and bits and pieces of a technique … Continue reading “Rituals & Liturgies, Fathers & Sons” →

by jad

Mother’s Day

“Je ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pasJe ne reviendrai jamaisJe ne te quitte pas.” We’ve all seen the posts about words that can’t be translated into English that inevitably include “saudade” in the list – saudade, that Portuguese feeling of “profound nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.” This longing is “often associated with a repressed understanding that one might never encounter the recipient of longing ever again.” But what’s a word for the melancholy that comes with irrepressible presence? Does anyone else ever feel … Continue reading “Mother’s Day” →

by jad

Digital Artifacts

Speaking of Microsoft (see also: x x x), I’m sure there’s a term for this kind of JPEG glitching, if I cared to look it up – maybe one of you nerds will let me know in the comments. It appears that the memory stick I brought back with me from Lebanon contains quite a decent percentage of corrupt files like these photos I took with my old iPhone 4s in 2012. Part of me feels like I should be sad? But the majority vote in my parliament of affects seems to be swinging in favor of finding this kinda … Continue reading “Digital Artifacts” →

by jad

#Route101: Olympia / PDX / Lebanon

Olympia was a pit stop and packed lunch break at the start of our #Route101 road trip. This was my second time here but my first time passing through downtown; we’d only visited the state capitol area last time. I think it was just as grey and dreary then too. These were taken on the same #FujifilmSuperia400 roll I took with me to Bellingham on Thanksgiving break, but for some reason my #NikonN60 auto-wound it after only two shots. I got a film picker to salvage it later and you can see the accidental double-exposure in the last two slides from when it didn’t quite line … Continue reading “#Route101: Olympia / PDX / Lebanon” →

by jad

Christine’s Project: Qadisha

One of the highlights of our trip has to be the road trip we took with Stacey and Antoun to the holy valley of Qadisha, the spiritual and ancestral home of the Maronites. I’ve been here before, but never experienced it in this way: once, because I was absolutely terrified in the back of a vehicle that was much too large for the narrow valley roads (post-terror tabbouli was definitely delicious at the Nahr Restaurant though), and another time because I was still in the thick of an atheist rejection of my roots, so I didn’t soak it in that … Continue reading “Christine’s Project: Qadisha” →

by jad

A Facebook Post About Love

In two days, I’ll be taking a bus to Redmond to cast my diasporic vote in the Lebanese elections. I won’t be doing this because I believe that there will be a direct correlation between casting my vote and seeing any change in my lifetime; I’ll be taking that bus to cast that vote because I love my friends and family and when you love, you do things like that. You show up, you participate, you chip in. I’m grateful to be able to ride that bus to Redmond; I’m grateful that I can ride a bus to pretty much … Continue reading “A Facebook Post About Love” →

by jad

What is it?

Brown, blue, violet sky—it’s funny how tiktok trends rehash and recycle artifacts that don’t quite feel very retro, though, they must be, alas. The world doesn’t really accelerate; we just get older a lot faster every day. And so, when that kinda thing is annoying, it’s really annoying, but when it’s not, it can be prophetic, like a planetary return, or a shift in the seasons, or a long-gone friendship reborn. I used to repeat that old lyric by that half-Lebanese crooner, who, at one point, provided folks with a global reference point, like tabbouli or hummus, to place me … Continue reading “What is it?” →