Tag: looking back

by jad

Humans of the March for Palestine

I’m thinking about this today. “Seeking Visions for a Better World is a call for images and aspirational sentiments that invoke constructive visions of the future to counterbalance the preponderance of dystopic visions presented in pop-culture, literature, and media.” // at @su_hedreengallery, by @ryanfeddersen. The @marchforpalestine.seattle was one of the most thoughtful and intentionally organized political actions I’d ever had the pleasure of taking part in, however small my role ended up being; I’ve certainly never seen more beautiful spreadsheets in my life either. Something felt different from the moment I watched the coordination Zooms. I’d become familiar with the … Continue reading “Humans of the March for Palestine” →

by jad

Christine’s Project: Cascade

There’s a sense of many things coming full circle. Cycles coming to completion, stories tied up in a bow… This shoot is part of one Christine’s stories. Saint Triduana of Restalrig was the first piece in her series, based on another painting she’d made and given away to a roommate in Edinburgh. And here we are, taking pictures with it in the apartment she lived in just before she moved to Scotland. It looked very different back then. This project and this place are deeply meaningful to Christine in ways that are only right for her to tell. What I … Continue reading “Christine’s Project: Cascade” →

by jad

The Machine is Broken

“This machine is broken.” You can’t read it, but that’s what the piece of paper says in the third and fourth slides. I took these Polaroids earlier today because I’ve been searching for a means to articulate a melancholy that’s become neck deep; a feeling of fundamental disjunction between how I spend my days and my weeks and what this particular time in history is actively asking of you and me. There’s a break between my life’s work and our common purpose that’s become increasingly impossible to ignore. How are we to look back on our actions today?How am I … Continue reading “The Machine is Broken” →

by jad

Light-Dark

I posted this image on a Sunday in 2013, a couple of days after taking the photo at a Catholic spiritual retreat I was gently compelled to go to by my parents – I wasn’t a fan of the church at the time. The image is taken from a workbook, and I seem to recall that the ocular illustration was meant to convey some theological concept or another — from aleph, the lid, to dal, the pupil — but I don’t remember what. “Contemplate,” it says. I do remember that this retreat was the first time I learned what an … Continue reading “Light-Dark” →

by jad

Latergram

If you want some insight into what it was like to follow me on Instagram in 2013, when I first joined this app, here’s a little peek. Not much has changed, I guess. February ‎24, ‎2013: The windows overlooking Lena’s terrace, where I tasted oranges in a salad for the first time, thanks to Lena’s Sicilian cooking. I don’t remember what we talked about, but the conversation was probably peppered with names like Deleuze and Trotsky, because it often was. Hanging out with Lena was like stepping into a jittery scene on a 16mm reel. March 21 is Mothers’ Day … Continue reading “Latergram” →

by jad

Remembering Dubai

“No matter how long an expatriate has been in Dubai, even if they are born in Dubai, they are not Dubaian. At some point, they must leave. This process of exclusion leaves these particular expatriates betwixt and between–they are not legally Dubaian and can be deported at any point, nor are they culturally of their countries of passport. For some, this uncertainty is liberating; it certifies them as global citizens. For others, it merely points out the dangerous condition of their liminal state.” (Dubai: Guilded Cage) Going through my old photos in that memory stick I found in Lebanon reminds … Continue reading “Remembering Dubai” →

by jad

Valentine

Next year, it’ll be 20 years since a defining moment in my life and in the lives millions of people in Lebanon, which feels unthinkable, so I’d rather do that thinking today, when it’s “only” been 19 – where has the time gone? On Valentine’s Day in 2005, a massive car bomb tore through Rafik Hariri’s motorcade and changed the course of Lebanese history. That’s saying a lot in a storied place like that, but this is my witness, and for me and for my generation, the arc of time abruptly swerved off of its tracks that day. I rethought … Continue reading “Valentine” →

by jad

Stuck on Repeat

I brought a bunch of my old CDs back with me from Lebanon, prioritizing the harder-to-find local releases I listened to in high school and undergrad, like Soap Kills, Scrambled Eggs, Zeid and the Wings, and the one and only major label release by the 90s rap group, Aks’ser. That album in particular is a weird trip back down memory lane, which is appropriate enough, given the transport metaphor in the group’s name (it can be read as both “going the wrong way down a one-way street” and “against the current”). It features several self-referential call-backs to earlier parts of … Continue reading “Stuck on Repeat” →

by jad

Origin Story (Still in Progress)

I took this on my first ever photowalk today, using the digicam I brought back from Lebanon. I’m glad I brought it along, because it was -9 °C out and I could barely operate my other camera for more than a couple minutes at a time. I very quickly learned that I had the wrong gloves and lenses for staying nimble on a day like today. So, what was I thinking going out on one of the coldest days of the year to cosplay as photographer? I was thinking that I need to start getting out of my own way … Continue reading “Origin Story (Still in Progress)” →

by jad

Must It Be? It Must.

Before heading to Lebanon, I wondered about how it’d feel to see just how much of what I’d known had changed, and Christine wondered back: how will it feel to see how much of what I’d known is still the same? The answer to both those wonderings was “yes.” Yes, a lot has changed, and much of it saddened me, but shockingly a lot had not. Even my old haunts in Mar Mikhael, so badly affected in the blast, still feature familiar sites and names, despite it all. This gladdened my heart. So many had bounced back. And Hamra, more … Continue reading “Must It Be? It Must.” →