Tag: looking back

by jad

Allow Yourself to Soften

“Allowyourselfto soften.” (@blackhausart) Last night, I ran two blocks to take this photo; it must have happened around the same time that Annie sent me those words. Tonight, I read other words and think about this softening and the kin we don’t know nor expect to have. And now I light a blend of incense called “the moon” that I’d picked out this morning. x Assorted November scenes from around #Bellingham this Thanksgiving weekend. x x This is my fourth time here, my third time staying the night. I really like this town.x x I’d like to followyou aroundfor a while x

by jad

Doing Photography

I never intended to actually start “doing” #photography when I first started posted those little excerpts from Sontag and Barthes all those months ago, but here we are, featured in @anna.s.snapshots‘s Issue 3 of Plastic Perspective. It’s a portrait of Christine that I took on my very first roll on my #Holga135 at just the right moment, in just the right light. It’s all kind of surreal. And here we are playing photographer and model. I’d be cringing if I weren’t so grateful for Christine’s steadfast support, encouragement, and patience as I turn her into guinea pig slash muse for this strange new hobby that’s … Continue reading “Doing Photography” →

by jad

An Alright Journey

‎الى اين‎بين النهرين‎بين سطرين‎لا يهم و نمشي ‎الى متى‎سار الفتى‎اين اتى‎لا يهم و نمشي x his is Christine holding a Polaroid we took earlier, outside the USCIS building where I got quizzed on civics, could not recall my social security number, and renounced all loyalty and fidelity to any prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, except that of these United States, so help me God. I like to think of it as an ad hoc aura photo of my total ontological reconstitution in this civil rite of baptism. Blessed be. It was an expedited oathtaking ceremony to get through the backlog of … Continue reading “An Alright Journey” →

by jad

Dog Days/Dead Media

Today has been the wildest day for technology, with copiers falling apart, messages not going through, PDFs mysteriously rendering darker, and emails landing in spam mid-thread; so if Mercury isn’t in retrograde, it really, really ought to be. I even posted this before I was ready. Sigh. Astrology’s connection to my “style” has come up a couple of times in the past few of days; one friend zeroed in on my Aquarian bent (“a bit cerebral in your aesthetics. edgy, understated and clean. futuristic”) while another noted the broadly #crabcore vibe (“Cancer Mercury explains your posts, your memory for so much like … Continue reading “Dog Days/Dead Media” →

by jad

Sickly Sweet Seven

We interrupt this regular broadcast to bring you a memory—this is #Istanbul, August 2015, a couple of days before we took a leap and made our first truly adult decision of our lives. x In October, it’ll be 11 years since you first walked into the room and set your scopes on me, saying “hi, what’s your name?” Today, it’s 7 years since we made it official and we’re still full speed ahead. Ahoy, Christine! ❤️🫠 x We liked it so much we did it again the next year, in #Paphos—here it is in October 2016. Slide 2 is the weird but meaningful … Continue reading “Sickly Sweet Seven” →

by jad

Trip Like I Do—Priest Lake, June 29-July 2

The object of our trip was Priest Lake in northern Idaho; it was our destination and where we spent most of our time. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this part of the journey. In fact, Christine reminds me that my very first reaction to a proposed gathering of sisters at this traditional family summering spot was precisely this: “I am inclined to say no.” Part of my hesitation is due to my relatively urbanized comportment: I am very much the product of my time, preferring the contemplation of natural beauty over my immersion in it. As the author of … Continue reading “Trip Like I Do—Priest Lake, June 29-July 2” →

by jad

Composition #2

Every time I think of Kundera I recall my favorite line from Unbearable Lightness: “In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine.” And as I wrote these words, I went back to refresh my memory and was surprised to see that sentence on page 4—page 4!—of the book. Could something so meaningful to me have come so early in the text? Does that make it any more or any less significant? I’m pretty sure the man would say: both. Kundera opens his Unbearable Lightness with a reflection on the concept of “eternal … Continue reading “Composition #2” →

by jad

Metafiction

A non-negligible number of books I’ve read of late have shared a common conceit: a chapter that holds the key to unlock the mystery of the whole. Granted, a climax or conclusion is pretty standard fair in any standard text, but that’s not what I’ve been reading. In ‘Camera Lucida,’ we have the clean break along the middle of the spine; in ‘Devil House,’ a whole number of a-ha moments, but only one chapter that literally fractured the narrative (read: act of narrating) in faux-Fraktur; in ‘Immortality,’ it’s part 6. Kundera tells us ahead of time what he’s going to … Continue reading “Metafiction” →

by jad

Saret Pizza

Lebanese people of a certain age can often be found expressing their frustration at the sheer audacity of the accumulation of circumstance with two half-moon gestures encircling an invisible drain, indicating the metaphorical girth of just how badly or how far the matter’s gone. “Tekhnet.” It has become quite thick. Lebanese people of a slightly younger age will widen the gyre, indicating that matters are so out of hand that the axes have collapsed and the pipe has transmorphed into “pizza.” Two fingers on two hands in the shape of an L around a very large O, wlo, “saret pizza.” … Continue reading “Saret Pizza” →

by jad

Year Zero in Review

“When the snake sits on the right The truth is always the anti-venom The snake sits on the left The truth is always the anti-venom The snake sits on the right The truth is always the anti-venom The snake sits on the left.” x x x At the start of this year, I wrote about a question that someone asked me: about the word I’d choose as the masthead for the year to be. A word was spoken in my ear as clear and as distinct as any I would assume resounds in a revelation, & that voice urged: “wholeness.” … Continue reading “Year Zero in Review” →